


Sleepless

by wolfstarlights



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy is Clueless About Muggle Things, Drarry, First Kiss, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts, Insomnia, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Not Epilogue Compliant, Post-War, willow tree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22366303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfstarlights/pseuds/wolfstarlights
Summary: Harry finds it very hard to sleep after the war. He’d been helping to rebuild the castle and spends his last night there- wide awake because his sleep keeps getting disturbed by nightmares. Draco faces a similar problem and so it comes they find each other outside in a wonderful summer night.(AKA alternative Epilogue featuring Drarry!)
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	Sleepless

**Author's Note:**

> TW: PTSD and insomnia! Don’t read if you easily get triggered by those! Stay safe folks!

Tired. 

That's all he felt, now that it was over. Voldemort was gone. The war was won. Everything great, wasn't it?   
But it all came back to him in the moment when hogwarts stood there in front of him. Completely intact again. It had taken them all summer but now it was finished and the students could return on September the first. Harry really wanted to hold this thought of positivity but it just slipped away.   
He had lost almost everything in this war. 

His parents.   
Cedric.   
Sirius.   
Dumbledore.   
Moody.   
Dobby.   
Fred.   
Remus.   
Tonks. 

The pictures of their dead bodies flickered through his mind every time he closed his eyes. Most of them had died for him. _Because_ of him. The images kept him awake at night. He barely got any sleep. And if he slept, there would always be nightmares which lead to sweating and panting and screaming until Ron or Neville shook him awake. 

"Mate, you should go for a walk!",  
Ron had said and here he stood, next to the lake under a huge willow tree, looking at the castle that had been his home for the past seven years.   
And it would be his home for one more day only. Then it would be time to leave. 

Ron had offered him to stay at the Weasley's for a few weeks but Harry felt that this wasn't his place to be right now. Ginny and him had ended things. Mutually. Harry has felt numb after all this fighting and so his feelings for her had faded. Meanwhile Ginny grew up and realized, she'd spent a big part of her youth longing for Harry. She just wanted to be free, to be herself and experience things in her last year at hogwarts. Furthermore the Weasleys already had to look after themselves and especially George. Fred had been a central member of the family and had just got ripped right out of their midst.   
No, Harry would probably go back to Grimmauld place. It was his house and it would be stupid not to use it, right? Also it was in London so he had short ways to Diagon Alley and the Ministry. He would still stick to his plans for an auror career. 

Out of nowhere someone suddenly spoke up and ripped him from his thoughts.  
"What does the great hero, Harry Potter, do outside at 3 AM?"  
It was a friendly but slightly amused voice. Harry glanced up at Malfoy and then turned his head back to look over the lake. The tips of the black waves glittered silvery in the moonlight.  
"Couldn't sleep."

Malfoy had personally apologised to everyone he'd ever insulted in the slightest way and had helped a lot with rebuilding the castle. Last week the Malfoys had had their trial and Draco and his mother got acquitted in all sentences while Lucius was sent to Azkaban. 

They had started to talk when they had to work together and got along with each other quite well. Of course only small talk and from time to time Harry would shout at him because old habits die hard.   
Maybe that's why they still called each other by their last names. They really tried to restart their relationship after seven years full of insults and tension between them. But something about it didn't feel right. Harry had completely forgiven Malfoy. Well, most of it anyway. That wasn't the problem.   
There still was a kind of tension, something Harry had felt all the time when he‘d been with Draco, since they first met. But it had always been pushed aside by anger. Now that this anger was gone it came to the surface. That kind of tension that made silence awkward and uncomfortable.

Again Malfoy interrupted his thoughts.  
"I can't sleep either. I-It always feels like he's touching me again."  
There was no name needed. They both knew who he was talking about.  
"These cold hands pulling me close."  
He paused and made a disgusted face.  
Harry felt sick. Surely this embrace had been traumatising for him.   
He kept observing the other boy's face as Malfoy went on. His beautiful features were rigid in what seemed to be fear and his pale skin reflecting the moonlight made him look even more tired and drained.  
"It's like being sucked into a black hole. And- and then all I can sense is fear and I panic and I can't breathe anymore... And when I wake up I'm still gasping for air."   
At this moment Malfoy stopped his story and his eyes fell to the ground.  
"I'm sorry."  
Harry was confused.

"What do you mean. You’ve already apologised at least six times for what you did. I forgive you, I already told you."  
"No, not this. I-....I'm sorry for whining about all this stuff to you. I know you've been through much worse."   
The former Deatheater tucked a strand of hair behind his ear where it had fallen into his eyes. He had stopped slicking it back after the war and now it fell in platinum blonde waves to frame his pointy face. 

"Mal- Draco, listen. It's not wrong or weak or anything to tell me your story. I can understand you better than anyone else. And some things you just need to talk about. As far as I know your life hasn't been very nice or easy at all. I hope I don't have to remind you of the bathroom incident in sixth grade. You're just human like everyone else."

"But Harry, you are also human. You had to suffer so much. And still you don't talk about it. You keep it all to yourself. That's not healthy! And don't you say you're talking to Weasley and Granger! I know you don't!"  
Harry didn't answer for quite a long time.

"I can't."

Draco waited for further explanations but they didn't come.  
"Harry James Potter! Talk to me!"  
Silence. 

Harry's next words were whispered and fragile.  
"They are all dead."  
A tear rolled down his cheek.  
"They're dead and it's my fold. And I see their body's..."  
"It's NOT your fold"  
Draco interrupted him.  
"They didn't die for you. They died as heroes in this war and even more would have died _without_ you!"

"Yeah, I suppose so..."  
In the next silence Harry dried his cheeks. He was not going to start crying now!

Finally Draco spoke again.  
"So, what are your plans for next year? You're going to stay for eighth year?"  
Harry was grateful for the change of subject.  
"No, I got an apprenticeship as an auror. Do you want to stay?"  
"No, I don't think so. I don't want mum to be at the manor all alone and as I was here for most of seventh year, McGonagall offered to let me take my NEWTs around Halloween instead."  
"Sounds nice."  
Harry settled on the damp grass and leaned back against the trunk of the willow. The other boy followed. 

"She's an amazing woman and witch."  
"Yes, she is. Did you know she stalked my aunt and uncle as a cat for a whole day before Dumbledore handed me over to them?"  
"Really? Wouldn't the muggles bore her to death without any magic?"  
There was a slight sarcastic undertone in Draco's voice. Not knowing anything about Muggles he probably wasn't sure if he was allowed to joke about them (especially Harry's relatives) or what they were doing at all.   
Harry chuckled slightly, mostly to give Draco a feeling of safety. He didn't know why but the most important thing right now, was to make Draco feel comfortable next to him. Under no circumstances did he want him to leave.  
"Yeah, I assume they were a bit boring until they were forced to raise me. Since then watching their house would of been like watching a sitcom on TV or something."

"On a what?"  
"TV. Television. It's like a cube and the front side shows moving pictures. Similar to wizard portraits but you can't talk to the people on the screen. "  
"So if they can't talk, what do they do all day?"  
Harry smiled and shook his head slightly. He hadn't expected it to be this hard to explain television to a wizard.  
"They are not really...They aren't alive. They are pictures saved inside a camera and they never change after that. They can only move in the way they did when they were filmed."  
"Oh... okay and why do you compare your life there to comedy?"  
Draco didn't look like he'd really understood but Harry didn't care.

"Well they didn't like me, so they treated me like a house-elf. I had to make breakfast and everything and they clearly overreacted when I made a mistake. And my cousin was ridiculously fat and spoiled and made sure I never made friends. And they hate magic. When only the word was mentioned they would freak out. If watched from outside this sounds kinda comical to me."  
Harry gave a weird laugh but Draco stared at him in disbelief, mouth slightly agape.

When he found his voice again he said,  
"There's nothing funny about that Harry. How did you survive that long in their company?"  
"Oh I just tried not to annoy them and stay out of their way."  
"Did they ever...I don't know...maybe abuse you?"  
"What? No! No, I'm not this sad, abused kid that gets depressive or anything."  
"You look depressed though!"

Instead of looking away and hiding his face as most would've done Harry locked eyes with Draco, wondering how these beautiful, silver orbs had looked right through him when not even Hermione had.   
Very beautiful eyes, surrounded by beautiful, pale and clear skin- Wait, what was he thinking? Where did that come from? 

But then he knew there was nothing random or new about it. He pretty well recognised the tugging and squirming sensation in his stomach that accompanied his thoughts about the handsome boy next to him. Suddenly the Saviour realized he'd been staring. And that he probably owed Draco an answer.   
"I'm sitting here, whining about the ones I lost while refusing to talk to my two best friends who both lived through just the same thing. After we were ready with all the work on the castle I- I just feel like I have no reason to get up in the morning. I know I have, I've got to be strong for them, but I don't feel it. I just want to cut everything out. But I can't sleep properly and I don't want to stand up, either. I'm a bad friend."

Draco meanwhile had listened with a caring expression in his features but at the last sentence he grew annoyed.  
"Harry, _shut up_! You've been through so much and you _saved the whole damn world_! You've lost many and your friends can understand if that has an effect on you. In my eyes you're the most amazing person to exist. Please just sto-"  
Harry couldn't help himself anymore. He leaned forward and stopped Malfoy's rant with his lips. 

And- _oh my!_ He was in heaven. Suddenly the butterflies in his stomach were free to fly, to spread over his whole body and fill up every inch of his limbs.   
In the beginning Draco froze in surprise but when he caught on to what was actually happening he eagerly kissed back. It was all desire and sparks and, most importantly, love! And finally the tension wasn't awkward anymore, it was amazing. 

When they broke apart Draco kept his eyes closed as Harry admired him.  
"I love you."  
Well, that was definitely unexpected. Harry wasn't even sure if he hadn't just imagined these three, so meaningful words.  
"What?"

"I love you."  
Draco repeated.  
"Always have. Always will. Wasn't easy to cope with it after you rejected my friendship. Though I didn't know back then of course. I think I realized it in third year. I'm rambling, sorry. I just wanted to let you know. I wish this to be something big. I want forever. I know I don't deserve it but you should know anyway."

That hit Harry completely off guard. But the more he thought about it the more sense it made. The more sense THEY made. Somehow the idea of him and Draco forever sounded like a wonderful dream. A dream he definitely wanted to come true and suddenly a thought struck his mind.  
"Well, I can't top your 'since day one' thing but I really want this to be real. Maybe one day you could come and live with me at Grimmauld place, I'd rather not be there on my own.  
And for now, would you like to be my boyfriend?"   
Draco's face broke into a silly grin - which definitely suited him- and nodded before pulling Harry in by his neck to kiss him again. 

_And all was well._

**Author's Note:**

> I am immensely proud of this oneshot and I’d really really love to get some feedback! So please do comment! Kudos are also appreciated of course!   
> Thank you for reading, you are amazing!


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